History

So for those of you that don't know I am a 23 year old divorcée, now I know your thinking but your a child when did you get married and the answer is when I was an infant. I was 19 years old, just placed my child for adoption feeling alone, I wanted someone that I could shower with my love.
So why marriage?, well he asked and I didn't have anyone else beating down my door. So after 3 months of, I wouldn't call it dating more like adequate sex, I got married. Of course we know how it ended hence the blog, my marriage was dissolved October 10, 2011, after almost nine months of marriage.
A month before it was official, my then husband was upset with the fact I was spending time with my friend Samantha, so he asked for a divorce and came about two miles from where we were living at the time to get my ring. Now if a person will travel that far, they shouldn't leave empty handed and so he left with his ring and I began my tirade, every moment I saw him, I reminded him just how weak I thought he was for asking for a divorce. Our relationship didn't end with the divorce cause we got back together after it was final, purely selfish on my end, I am not one to sleep around and since, I was already with him, I thought I would make him useful again till school ended.
So why the bitterness and empty feeling after he finally left, because I actually worked hard to make my marriage work. I knew I married him for the wrong reason but I didn't care, I could grow to love or tolerate him, I just wanted a family. So I cooked, cleaned, did homework and projects, switched around work, basketball, class and newspaper schedules; all for someone who in the end didn't want to stay because I didn't want to be a lap dog anymore. That and he had met someone in a history class that we had together, that only added fuel to my fire, if you saw what he originally (traded) me in for you would think he was an idiot.
So two years later, I am still not married, still no family but I feel more fulfilled and happier then I have ever been. I learned in order to have a successful divorce, you need to remember the importance of loving yourself more then the person that has chosen to walk away from you.